It's March now.


Another new month, another birthday passed.

And I'm getting pretty sick and tired of sharing my birthday month with the celebrations of Lunar New Year.


I used to think that the long weekend holidays; the collections of angbaos; and the perfect excuses to buy new clothes meant for the New Year but in reality meant to get myself some stuffs that I've fancied long enough as birthday presents for myself, were the advantages of sharing my birthday celebration with celebrating the Lunar New Year.


But as I grew older, the long weekends became more work, angbaos lessen and I no longer shopping just for CNY. The simple joy in them just disappeared. And there I sat in my rocking chair feeling miserable because my dear parents no longer remembers my birthdays for they were too busy preparing food and entertaining the no ending visitors streaming in and out of their house over those days faster then I can finish a whole entire series of a short story drama.


And hence, I developed a habit of just lobo-ing at my own house and do nothing else but spending the Eve's with them for reunion dinners, the 1st day at James' granny's house, and the laziness of can't be bothered to do anything for my birthday. (And also I got exhausted from all those spring cleaning...)



The trip to Shanghai last year, made my parents and me realized a few things.


To them, they were surprised I don't really do birthdays except a few dinners with close friends. They didn't know that I'm actually quite tradition at heart. A simple bowl of meesua with a hardboiled egg, a small angbao and a family dinner with all my fave dishes is enough. They thought I would go out party and drink silly or just holed up at home spending romantic time with James.


To me, I begin to notice how my birthday was shadowed over by the celebrations of the Lunar New Year. Sometimes, it makes me wonder... was it really that great being born of the 5th day of Lunar New Year, beoz I always get envies from people, always commenting "How nice... the entire Chinese race celebrates your birthday!!" or am I really that independent that my parents didn't even have to be concerned about birthdays and all, becoz I will always be sure no one gets left out even those of myself??


Whatever the case, over the last few years, as my birthdate approaches, I get emo and depressed. I seriously do not know all the negativity was due to becoz the age number just keep increasing or becoz same shit just keep happening. I can't say no one cares becoz honestly a handful do and they were really sweet about it. Or maybe I'm morphing into a more self-centered, selfish and attention-seeking person.





On a brighter note, this year's Lunar New Year passes by too quickly. James decided to do some CNY baking and the little project that started from a loving grandson/husband turns into a big project of sales and factory line. The weeks of baking got me so exhausted that the long weekend rest was not enough for me to recuperate from the physical tiredness.


Funny though, mentally I was happy. So was James. (I think he was at his happiest at the peak of most stressed period of the project.) It's the strangest experience I have yet experienced. I kept asking James, were we experiencing the term "doing what you loved most gives the most satisfying experience that over rule tiredness and keeps you wanting more" which we keep hearing from those who successfully creates a business out of their passion.


Oh well, more on the CNY baking project in future entries coz I've tones of photos to go along with!