James started his reservice 3 days ago.

Every year, when he goes in camp, I feel relief. Nope, not that I'm sick of him, I love being with him. That's why I married him! But we kinda see each other 24/7. We work together, live together. Some nights, he would meet his friends for tea and other nights I'll hang out with my girls. So, whenever he's traveling or go in camp, I'll be home alone; whole bed to myself, whole house to myself, whole day to myself. It's just that I missed being with myself, alone for a period of time. Afterall, I'm from an only-child family. I used to be by myself most of the time. The only other person who spent most of the time with me was my late-granny. But she's no longer around anymore. And I missed that too!

Joe mentioned a couple of times that I'm being mean. He has never seen someone who's happy that her partner's not by her side for few days. Yeah, I admit. I was glad, relief and was "happy happy joy joy" about it. But that doesn't mean I don't love James. And this time I wasn't really all super happy about his absence. Just a day not by my side makes me missing him alot. Like as if I have not seen him for months. But in reality he was only in camp for a night. But he calls. Becoz he feels the same way too. Missing me. Terribly.

This year, its different. Nobody hears any "happy happy joy joy" routine from me. Not even Joe. I wonder, was it becoz now that we've gone through the wedding rituals that we both finally officially behaving like real husband and wife, becoz we've gone through the transition that we didn't experience when we ROMed?

I notice a certain change in me, in James. I'm definitely changing, that's for sure. I try even harder at the things that I've tried to do in the past and failed. James is serious about quiting smoking becoz he wants to execute the family planning plans. And an old friend points out, we're more lovingly than ever.

I do not know is it becoz I'm sick, thus feeling extra lonely without him by my side. I tried to keep myself occupied with the Wii, I still feel out of place. Even when the kitties are hanging out with me more often than usual, that simply couldn't stand in for that loneliness I'm feeling right now. Hm... I wonder...